“The Upgrader” is a real downgrader

An old instructor of mine once said, “give any Chef enough paper and they’ll kill themselves with it,” referring to the somewhat pathological drive of many great cooks to become mediocre cook book writers. Well, in this case it’s not paper but electrons, and not a cookbook. Instead, Laurent Gras of L2O in Chicago gives us, you, me, everyone, his list of “ten things no home toque should be without.”

Considering this paragraph from Laurent’s weblog, this should be a great list. Efficient, concentrated, and no-B.S.:

Efficiency in a kitchen is key for a good flow service. If most of the things you need are around you, the less you need to move, so you become more efficient. Something as simple as pans and pots on busy night are slowing down service (negotiating space on the flat tops, dishwasher over loaded, back and forth to get clean pots) and every chef knows the burden they can create.

So, imagine my surprise… or, not really. After all, someone gave a Chef enough paper… Let’s go through them, shall we?

Calphalon One Infused Anodized Sauteuse, 7-quart

“One pan can do 10,000 things: eggs, meat, vegetables, fish. I’m speaking as a chef and as a consumer: I think it’s a very good product for its longevity and for the price that you pay for it. The one I have at home, I’ve had for maybe five years, and it’s still running well. A good investment if you are only going to buy one or two pots.”

Really? If you are only going to buy two pots, a 7-quart sauteuse without a handle is not very likely to be one of the two. Set aside the fact, that All-Clad usually out-tests Calphalon whenever someone does a product comparison, getting a heavy gauge stainless steel sautee pan (aside fact, the difference between a sauteuse and sautierre is straight vs. sloped sides, blame the French) with metal handle is a much better investment. Get a 2 qt and an 8 qt pot and you should be all set for all things cooking. No need to have a fancy, no-handle, non-stick, sauteuse sitting around.

Cuisinart brick toaster oven with convection

“They just put it out a few months ago. My friend Eric Ripert from Le Bernardin sent me one as a gift. You can use it for a hundred different things: You can bake cakes, you can do toast, you can grill vegetables-all in like 30 seconds. It’s small, it’s clean, it’s practical. We used to have a toaster, but we just have a toaster oven now. We use it more often than a regular oven.”

Dropping the names of other seafood cooks is a fun exercise, but most definitely does not change the fact that, at $250, this oven is a nice thing to have but definitely not an “essential”. Yes, yes, you can be and are allowed to be without one of those. Save the $250 for one of the things below.

Shun Japanese knives

“A very good-quality knife. The handle is pakkawood, and they use very good carbon steel, usually VG-10. [Ed. note: For the uninitiated, VG-10, a carbon-based metal known as "super steel," is the sharpest, most durable knife material available.] It can slice bread, tomatoes, whatever. They last for a pretty long time, and they’re washable in the dishwasher.”

Shun eight-inch chef’s knife, $313; Shun Pro Deba, $163; Shun Pro Nakiri, $157;

“But, momma, it’s Japanese. It has to be good.” (Disclaimer: I am a huge fan of Shun knives and own four.) No home cook will ever need a Deba or Nakiri. Period. Save those additional $320 and invest them into something useful. Bottom line, here, is – all a Chef needs (“essential”, remember) is a Chef’s knife and a paring knife. Bread, Utillity, Boning, and all the other tools, come second after those two. There isn’t a cut, dice, slice, or deal a Chef can’t seal using those two. If, for any reason, a Deba would make this easier, I’d be not as harsh, but reality is – unless you know how to do things with a Chef’s knife, you won’t be able to do them with any other tool. Usually I am reluctant to offer brand names, but because Chef Gras did, I shall too… get a Global. It’s even Japanese (and good, remember). At less than half the price for a Shun 8″, with a great feel to the hand, it’s my favorite. But, alas, let’s be serious here: never, ever, buy a knife based on someone else’s recommendation. Go out and buy the one that sits best in your hand, that feels most comfortable. And don’t buy a Deba or Nakiri, they won’t make you a better chef and they’re definitely not essential.

Olive oil from Old Town Oil

“I don’t like to spend more than $20 for olive oil-that’s good enough. Find a good retailer next to you (Old Town is a small shop in Chicago that has oils from around the world). Extra virgin is key, unless you want to cook with it-then you need to cut it with some natural oil like grape seed.”

Again, the rule here is: buy what you think goes best with your dishes. No olive oil is automatically better than another. Make some clarified butter for cooking, then find some olive oil for all the other tasks where taste is key. “Extra Virgin”, or “Eh Vee Oh Oh” to quote another non-Chef, is a production and content description. High acidity, no sediments, that stuff. Sure, it’s an essential, but get what you like best. There’s great , locally harvested and produced, oils at most farmer’s markets.

Microplane Premium medium-plane grater

“It’s simply the best grater on the market for any kitchen. The medium-plane version is the most versatile-hard enough for Parmesan, chocolate, and bread-and the handle makes it easier to use. We bought ours when they first hit the market, six or seven years ago. You’ll keep it for years.”

Not much to say, here. I agree. Getting a Microplane is a sound investment. Hit your local store and buy one, you won’t regret it. Just don’t try to strip paint with it (I am looking at you, former Sous Chef…).

Zojirushi rice cooker

“It works, and it works well. It doesn’t burn the rice, the heating is good-it’s everything you need. We cook any rice, from jasmine to sushi rice to regular rice. And we sometimes put an extra flavor ingredient inside-it can be a piece of chicken or whatever-and then cook everything together. It’s a pretty simple operation, especially when you come home late and don’t want to cook too much.”

Again, paying $200 for a rice cooker is not “essential”. Sure, having one is a good investment, but personally I’d recommend hitting your local Asian market and asking around. There are some good ones starting in the low 60s, the one I purchased (and use, still, after seven years), cost me $45. And, yes, you can put extra flavor ingredients into any rice cooker.

Asahi synthetic cutting board

“If you are going to spend money on good knives, you need a good cutting board. A real wood one you need to sand and wash-okay for the professional, but when you’re home you want to avoid some of those steps. These are synthetic, but are made to be very close to Japanese wood, and are easier to clean. It’s soft, which helps the knives last longer.”

There’s truth in them thar words, somewhere. Namely – if you’re paying upwards from $100 for a chef’s knife, don’t use a cheap cutting board or – worse – your counter top. Don’t use wood, either, it’s insanely hard to clean. Synthetic is king, and if you want to spend $500 for one, Asashi fits that bill. But you don’t want to spend $500. First, get three boards. Use one for vegetables, one for poultry, and one for fish and meats. Get a small batch of cleaning solution and sanitize the heck out of your boards between steps. Your visitors and your stomach will thank you if Mrs. Salmonella doesn’t come a-knocking. $40 is about the right price for an essential cutting board. With your chef’s knife get a honing steel and learn how to hone your knives. It’s another essential, and with the money you saved on your cutting boards you can pay the gas to drive to Sur La Table almost anywhere in the U.S. and have someone show you how to hone.

Aged balsamic vinegar from Italy

“Buy the oldest, most expensive one you can afford-$20 to $30. Like the olive oil, you taste the quality directly from the bottle. If you find a good brand, you’ll use it for lots of things-a drop on fish, a drop on salad, a drop on steamed vegetables, dressing, and things like that. I also buy a Japanese rice vinegar, but I cannot tell you the name-the label’s all in Japanese.”

Instead of repeating myself: see “Olive Oil”.

Pasquini Livia 90 semi-auto espresso machine

“It’s a very good coffee machine-very strong, good pressure, and the steam element is very good. It’s got a copper boiler-that’s where you get the best heating elements to make the best espresso-and the rest is stainless, so it will last. I’ve had mine for over a year, and it’s like brand-new. “

Good thing I have a coffee machine at home. Because I just squirted my cuppajoe through my nose onto the keyboard. $2000 for a coffee machine is, most definitely, not an investment you need in your kitchen. Making espresso is an art-form. Making good espresso is a question of beans, water, temperature, and process. Get good beans, well filtered water, refrigerate your beans, and use trial-and-error on your process, and a $300 machine will do almost as well.

Murray River pink salt from Australia

“At the restaurant, we basically use Murray for all our seasoning. I think it’s stronger and more flavorful than regular white salt. It has a very nice, mild flavor-[some] sweetness, and not too much sharpness to it.”

Good on you for using it. For everyone else, including all restaurants I know of, please see “Olive Oil”.

In a nutshell, “essentials” or “need to have”, those aren’t. Most cooking can be done in much cheaper equipment and yield the same, if not better, results. Having a good knife is important, yes, but equally important is learning to use, hone, and sharpen it. If those factors match, a $100 knife can do the job of Chef Gras’ $500 set, even exceed it, since his selections assume a great knife skill to begin with. To put this into nerd-speak – sure, having a multi-million render farm is a great thing, but for someone who doesn’t know how to use Maya or Blender on their PC or Mac, the farm will be useless.

Oils, salts, and vinegars, are a matter of taste. Spending more on a bottle than an average family spends on a full dinner per week, is great if that is what you absolutely need, else it’s a luxury that does not provide a bang for the buck worthy its price tag. A lazy Sunday afternoon making your own infused oils and vinegars can be much more rewarding, believe me.

That said, I think it’s time for me to write a real essentials list. Stay tuned :)